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 Jørgen Jørgensen "The Hazard "

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Jørgen Jørgensen

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Posts : 12
Join date : 2014-05-18
Age : 20
Location : Sniper Island

PostSubject: Jørgen Jørgensen "The Hazard "   Mon May 19, 2014 1:08 am

Name: Jørgen Jørgensen "The  Hazard "

Age: 19

Bounty: 70,000 B

Species: Human

Occupation: Pirate/doctor

Allegiance: Pirate (The Hazard Crew)  http://theonepiecerp.forum-motion.com/t7968-the-hazard-crew

Home Village/Ocean: North Blue

Appearance:  
Jørgen stands at the height of 6 feet and 5 inches. He weighs a total of 15 stones. Jørgensen has pale skin with a ogre shaped face. He has a pricing hazel eyes with a van dyke beard and a brown hair in the similar style t shanks. He has a lightening scar on the right eye  after a fighting incident in his childhood . He wears jeans with a thin bright yellow belt with a belt buckle in the shape of bio hazard symbol. For footwear black work boots with a steel tip on the end. Jørgen has a muscular upper body that is covered by a denim jacket and multiple tattoos covering up marks left from defeats in battle. He is often seen  wearing gloves with the finger holes exposed.

History:
Growing up in the North Blue the island he grew up on was ruled by the marines and the community wanted to uphold the best appearance to the world government to appease the world nobles . His parents were  both disabled parents so they were forced to live in the slums outside town to hide them away from the town's sight. He went to the town's library to read up on and learn the art medicine to aid his ailing parents.  He was brought up to rely on himself and help the sick and wounded.  He learned everything he knows  from the books in the town's library. He was picked on throughout his childhood by all the other children in the town due to his misfortune and family status. He learned how to fight  by experience trying to uphold his family honor after being insulted. The World Nobles found the area of run down houses that He lived in and the ordered it to be burned down to the ground. However, Jørgen was hanging out in his favorite spot, a chasm in the mountains, at the time. At this moment he found a weird fruit  that seemed like a brick. He was amazed when he found he had powers of the brick-brick fruit.  He came back to find out both his home and his life were destroyed. He beat up a world noble and quickly had to make a get away as marines came to the aid of the noble.  Jørgen had to run from the life he used to know. He ran to docks and found a ship that was docked with no one aboard.

Jørgensen is sailing around in the North Blue trying to recruit a crew on his ship The Hazard. The North Blue is proving to be a challenge with just a one man crew sailing a boat made for a multi-person crew. Jørgensen is docking his ship in ports of islands in the North Blue to rest due to the increased fatigue of working the ship. While Jørgensen docks his ship he uses the time to increase his knowledge in medicine by reading books in the ship's library as well as unlocking the powers of the brick brick devil fruit.

Personality:
He is a very intelligent man and very street/sea smart making his crew admire him. He is very loyal,treats his crew with the utmost  respect and is considered a friend to most he meets. He is very stern but nice in his emotional expression. He is aware of the dystopia rule of the modern world because of the incident of what happened to  him in the past. He hates the government and marines but he does not hold everyone in the same stance because he knows not everyone is the same.  He is never quick to make a judgment unless it is a pressing matter that needs to be taken care of ASAP. He is always  listens to his crew on what the crew should do next because he views everyone as equals and does not look at rank or class.  He is willing to help the sick and wounded with medical health and money that he steals from the rich. He is also a protector of the weak against opposing stronger forces. He prefers stealth and insight about the opponent over a straight out attacks.

Ship: The Hazard  http://theonepiecerp.forum-motion.com/t7960-the-hazard

Ship Flag: a jolly roger with a hazard symbol in the forehead and a lightening scar on the right eye

Devil Fruit: Renga Renga No Mi (brick brick) http://theonepiecerp.forum-motion.com/t7958-renga-renga-no-mi
type: logia

Effect: Can create and manipulate construction bricks as well as bring out constructs.

Special Abilities: Quad-Axe  Style (four bladed axe) based on cyclones. The axe is used in a method that creates splits in air/opponent as well as rotations creating the opponent to travel backwards.
http://theonepiecerp.forum-motion.com/t7970-quad-axe-four-bladed-axe

Learned Techniques (Keep it 1-25):
Punch/Foot Brick (A construction brick appears on the fist/foot of user)
Shield Brick (Able to make construction brick walls to block off an area.)
Pillar Stomp (Creates a construction brick pillar and uses the pillar to laydown the opponent by either swinging at them or squashing the opponent.)
Brick Ball (Creates a ball of construction bricks around the user that can be rolled in any direction.)
Brick Suit (A suit made of construction bricks that can be used as armor and be quite a lethal attacker. Note bricks are light but compact allowing for easier movement.)
Brick Destruction (Capable of destroying building made of construction bricks by making the bricks shift location; Note only applies to bricks made by his DF powers.)
Brick Vertex (Creates construction bricks and makes a cyclone around the user and capable of moving with the user.)
Quad Axe Split (Creates an x slash of air that travels in one direction.)
Quad Axe Stomp (Jumps up and lets the axe hit the opponent from the top and with the four blades at once.)
Quad Axe Vortex (Spins the axe creating a cyclone pushing back the opponent; similar to the Clima-Tact's Gust Sword attack however it rotates.)

Weapons/Items: Axe, Hammer, Medical Kit
Goals: Become a Shichibukai and explore the vast ocean.


Last edited by Jørgen Jørgensen on Wed May 28, 2014 11:05 pm; edited 12 times in total (Reason for editing : finished editing info!)
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Rodoku
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PostSubject: Re: Jørgen Jørgensen "The Hazard "   Mon May 19, 2014 2:34 am

Appearance should be detailed. One line is insufficient. It should be at least one good paragraph. History needs to be at least two good paragraphs, if not more. Explain his origins, how he learned however he knows how to fight. How he got his devil fruit, how he became a pirate. You could say what happened when he had to be a thief... How did he get his bounty???

Your personality is also insufficient. It needs to be at least one GOOD paragraph long. This is what decides how your character reacts to situations, what are his hopes, what he likes.

Explain your Quad-Axe Style, what is it based on? What are some characteristics of it.

It would be nice if you made your techniques a list instead of putting them one besides the other. Explain every technique in detail. How does he perform it? What effect does it have on the foe? In what manner does it move towards the foe? etc etc.


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Jørgen Jørgensen

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PostSubject: Re: Jørgen Jørgensen "The Hazard "   Mon May 19, 2014 11:53 pm

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PostSubject: Re: Jørgen Jørgensen "The Hazard "   Tue May 20, 2014 11:51 pm

The attacks in the part of the fruit are to be removed in this sheet. They're not even that relevant in your fruit sheet as well. But like I mentioned in it, you need to focus on one type of brick. The construction brick is the common and what the fruit would be themed around, I'd say. Attacks that dont fit the logia have to be removed, check what I wrote on your fruit app.

Please try adding a little bit more to history to make it Two paragraphs like I stated above.

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PostSubject: Re: Jørgen Jørgensen "The Hazard "   Wed May 21, 2014 11:59 pm

I have a few more doubts on the techniques:

Brick Suit (A suit made of construction bricks that can be used as armor and be quite a lethal attacker.)

Is the user slowed down physically when using this suit?

Brick Destruction (Capable of destroying building made of construction bricks by making the bricks shift location.)

You can only shift locations of bricks like that with bricks you have created. You cant just destroy a building by re-arranging their structure, since those bricks werent created by your DF.

And a note on the Quad- Axe. I believe you would have to make that a separate Weapon sheet. At first I thought it was a regular Axe so I didnt say anything, but noticing that it has four blades, I'd ask you to please submit it separately and specify its material, proportions, etc.

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Jørgen Jørgensen

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PostSubject: Re: Jørgen Jørgensen "The Hazard "   Thu May 22, 2014 12:08 am

The user is slowed down a bit physically when using this suit but the brick size is thinner allowing for faster movement compared regular sized construction bricks.

I thought if it was the same material you can control that with your df powers. I might be mistaken in this view.

Alright I'll create it to the weapons topic sheet.
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PostSubject: Re: Jørgen Jørgensen "The Hazard "   Sun May 25, 2014 8:52 pm

On the cyclone part of one of your last attacks, please specify the dimensions, the direction and the extent of this "cyclone".

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