One Piece RP - Race to the Grand Line

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Posts : 412
Join date : 2011-05-12
Age : 22
Location : British Columbia, Canada

PostSubject: DELETED   Thu Feb 16, 2012 8:40 am

Name: Full name: Test Subject #09 "Zenith Lyrica" "Blood Born Zenith" "Mad Man Zenith"

Age: 39

Bounty: 30,000,000

Species: Cyborg/Part-Giant


Allegiance: None

Home Village/Ocean: An Unknown Island in the Grandline

Appearance: Stumbling at around 14', Zenith seems like a Giant to some people. His body is quite bulky with thick resistant muscles that limit some of his movement. His head is shaven and his tanned body seems hardened in some areas by flames and marked from wounds inflicted on him. His head is decorated with a broken helmet that is damaged, Leaving the forehead, back of the neck and eyes completely covered. He is completely blind but has a deadly sense of hearing with his ears exposed and having devices that amplify sound for him. His Jaw hangs low as he pants, roars and shows off whats left of his horrible, jagged, yellow teeth and false teeth made from metal. A look into his mouth can see that the gums are horrible, the tongue is slightly swollen from who knows what and horrible bad breath. His only clothes seem to be a ripped Straight jacket that is torn on the left side of the upper torso and a pair of white loose cloth pants that are ripped at the knees. Looking down, His Left foot is made from metal as well as a Spine like metal device that is screwed right into his back for unknown reasons. He has a Bar code tattooed on his neck and his left arm sports a Tattoo labeled "Test #09"

History: Zenith was his Original Human name, A son of a pirate taken by the Government and used for the tests as punishment for his Father being a pirate. His fate lead to drugs being used on him, giving him his large body and many muscles and torturing him into insanity.

The rampaging beast escaped after the World Government lab he was in lost power from an incoming storm. Several of their test subjects escaped and started running rampant, attacking the Marine and Government workers/ soldiers. After the place burned, The different experiments started fighting with one another, Until only 4 survived. Two survived by escaping the Island, The other roams the island to this day while Zenith was captured by pirates and used to attack as a wild beast. The unfortunate part was recapturing him in which they could lose many men, which has led to many crews capturing him and soon losing control as squashed and maimed those trying to hurt him. What time he manages not being captured he spends rampaging islands and attacking animals to survive and satisfy his bloodlust. His current Killstreak is wiping three villages by himself and killing most of the wildlife, once even swimming to another island to rampage...

Personality: This guy cannot be even called a person, His main cause to satisfy his insanity is to harm, maim, destroy, wipe out and kill. He is easily susceptible to drugs if you can get a thick enough needle into his skin or do what most crews do and restrain him with large steel chains. He has limited intelligence; meaning he can figure where you are and will try to find his way there, But will mostly pound at things and not use a plan. He has been seen using a Ships mast as a club and seems to carry it around. He does not care on what he likes, besides blood and violence. But he loathes any sort of thing that hurts him. His one weak spot are small holes in the Metal device on his back used to administer doses of drugs to calm him.

Ship: name of ship

Ship Flag: describe

Devil Fruit: Limited to only three devil fruit users per person
type: (only if you have a devil fruit)
effect: (only if you have a devil fruit)

Special Abilities: Extraordinary Hearing, Thick Skin (Only can be pierced by a sharpened sword or bullets. Swords used in recent battles before facing him might have dulled so make sure to keep your gear sharp) , Giant Strength (Much more then those of normal Super Strength)

Weaknesses: Blind, Restricted Movement (Cannot turn when Charging, Cannot turn his neck properly to look around) Weak point in the metal structure on his back

Learned Techniques (Keep it 1-25):
Smash!: Can Actually smash a boat right in the middle, despite not seeing it.
Charge: Charges Forward and smashed everything in his way

Weapons/Items: A Pirate Crews Mast:Flag included.

Goals: Rampage and Hurt

Last edited by WatersCalling on Fri Feb 17, 2012 2:50 am; edited 1 time in total (Reason for editing : Needed to make something totally Mary Sue)
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Layman Iconoclast

Posts : 10667
Join date : 2008-07-01
Age : 25
Location : I am everywhere I see everything

PostSubject: Re: DELETED   Thu Feb 16, 2012 3:02 pm

cyborg parts need to be submitted as a weapon, cybrogs need a to run off fuel also I cant avoid saying that this characters backstory is convoluted at best... sorry

No characters, all dead.
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Frog Dragon


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Join date : 2010-03-26
Age : 22
Location : Blarg

PostSubject: Re: DELETED   Thu Feb 16, 2012 3:05 pm

Firstly, the world government only applied "sins of the fathers" in the very extreme case of Gold Roger. Your backstory is thin.

Secondly, the abilities are specious. Thick skin needs far more definition, now it just seems like you're immune to melee attacks, especially unarmed ones. Secondly, that giant strength thing is a no-go. Firstly, all "super-strengths" and such require definition, and secondly, that definition cannot be "Stronger than everyone with super-strength". You can't give yourself a blanked "I-win" in every feat of strength, which is what your special ability description does right now.

Edit: And what Admin said.
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